ME...........................................................................

A word that I haven't used in a very long time. I consider it us. Consider it a union of 2 people. Not just 1 with another. You and me. Torn between trust and mail. It is true you cannot trust me and I cannot trust you. This is not how a relationship works. I thought I was the only one for you. I see otherwise. You don't need me. You don't want me. You can't stand me!!! Am I the one for you? Am I the one you need? I don't think so. How are you going to feel 1 year down the road not trusting me. Not good, why are you with me? Do you feel sorry for me? Do you have a resentment towards me? Do you feel like you have to be with me? I woke up this afternoon from a nap and realized that I probably am not the one for you. That you cheated on me to ease my pain. In a sense with the tension that I feel now I wish you would cheat on me. Don't pitty me!!! I will find somewhere that I am welcomed to! Somewhere I can be me and feel great about myself!! Not to worry on whether Mike the mailman will tell you something......... Where you will conclude to something that is not true and fake much like the love that you show to me some days! You do only love me sometimes. I need all the time! In a world where I have been shitted on by everyone you were my confidant. Someone who I could trust. Not anymore. I have been scared by you and abused. Not ever laying a finger on you. Bruised, broken, and beaten down. This is not how people like to be treated!! So instead I will lay here thinking and dreaming of the times when you were truely in love with me!! With a person you could trust! Good night world, you've been cruel but maybe this is what I need....... a slap in the face!!!