Insecure...........

In-se-cure - adj. - subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person. I have been caught in a tough spot, run hard with an Achilles heel! As of late I feel like I am not who I am supposed to be not strong enough, man enough, smart enough, and rich enough. I've had enough! I want to stop feeling like this, I want to be the modest guy in the corner again. Everyday I am finding myself talking her up, and people saying the same things over and over again. "She's pretty." "Wow Mike!" And the ever so popular one, "how you get a girl like that?" She's wonderful, amazing, smart, and beautiful. And other people know this too. I guess it just all spawns off of a particular incident a week ago. I felt betrayed, inadequate, unappealing. I felt like I was cheated on, again. The pain that shoots through your heart after it has traveled the course of your entire body gaining momentum striking a deadly blow on where it counts, my self worth. I am a great person, I am smart, I am hilarious, I am not a paramedic, I am not a policeman, I am me............................. I start self talking me up and then I come to those realizations. What was so necessary that "it" needed to be said, that "it" had to be said like that? That incident is going to stick with me for a little bit longer, until I feel the need to let go, a good reason to move past and not look back. I mark the days as they go by, I hope it is soon, soon.